Throughout my life, I’ve struggled to figure out who I am and what I am meant to or be or do in this life. Ironically, this ongoing self-reflection has actually contained the answers all along…I just wasn’t able to see them.
To back up, I am an introvert (finally, proudly so!). In addition, I am an intuitive feeler…basically I’m pretty good at reading people and I’m (perhaps overly) sensitive. These qualities haven’t always served me well in life. They’ve presented their own unique challenges, but they have also granted me gifts that I am only now beginning to recognize and utilize.
Let’s pause for a brief moment for a reality check. If at this point, you are reading this post and are not at all sure what I am talking about or why it matters, you may want to stop here. If you’re identifying with the above descriptors, please read on. I hope I can provide some insights and inspiration to you through your own journey of self-discovery.
As an introvert and an intuitive feeler, this is how I roll…
- I experience “big feelings” that often times get trapped inside of me and make me feel achy and blue, and yet if someone were to ask me what’s the matter, I likely wouldn’t be able to put these feelings into words.
- I feel physically ill when I see violence or witness injustice. It literally upsets me to my core. I want to save abandoned and abused animals, feed starving children, stop human trafficking and put an end to bullying. (Yep, I donate to far more charities than my husband would like!). If I could give the world a hug, I would.
- Tears. Many, many tears. From commercials that are touching to underdog victories, I’m easily transformed into a puddle of tears. And I have to say, this is a tough trait to live with, especially in the workplace where emotions are not necessarily applauded. I’ve spent a lot of energy coaching myself to look brave and strong, confident and tough…but there have been times my tears have betrayed my efforts. And I feel small and defeated.
- I need time to intake new information and process my thoughts. Again not a rewarded attribute in a business meeting, nor during an argument with one’s spouse. Of course, 15 minutes later, I’ve got some great zingers or a new insight to share with the team. By then though, the meeting (or argument) is over and the more vocal extraverts have made decisions and moved on. If the processors of the world could have just 20 minutes to sit quietly and reflect…I guarantee that 9 times out of 10, an even more insightful course of action would be achieved.
While I could write a book about my inner life, the point is that I finally understand myself now. What I used to see as a weakness I value as a unique strength, and that empowers me to give more of myself to meaningful pursuits that I hope will one day empower others like me – strong, bright, compassionate souls with a rich inner life and a kind heart.
Yours till butter flies.
