I am brimming, plumb and full, delighted with the me of me. Knowing no bounds. I skip and merrily I sing.
For I am me.
A fissure. The first. The words sting as they hit. Unexpected and public, pocking my flawless veneer. Allowing, a little of me to seep out. Teeth gritted and determined, I hold and sustain, the me of me.
A crack. Callous epithets pointedly directed. They ache as they shiver through me. Bewildered, but aware That a rivulet of me was trickling out. swallowed by the ground beneath me.
It's ok. It's ok. It's ok. The seeds of my mantra now planted, Carefully, I tread onward. My sure-footedness lost and a shadow of doubt now accompanying me. But step by step, I march.
The final blow. Delivered steathily and fast. Without cause or concern. Words shattering the me of me. Shattering the vessel I was. Leaving shards scattered and strewn about. Leaving the me of me unrecognizable and bare.
Like rocks on a pane of glass, expertly flung, practiced and repeated, The profundity of words have more power than a clenched fist to take and break and dismantle the me of me. the you of you. until nothing remains but a hollow shell of what once was a beautiful being.
I write stream of consciousness verse. I don't edit along the way, because I find that the truth in words are often the first ones that flow out of your mind and onto the paper.
Be kind with your words. Their power is beyond comprehension. They can build one up to the soaring heights and they can tear people down to the smallest version of themselves. Worse yet, the harshest, most cutting words are not always the most obvious. They aren't the standard swear words and direct affronts to your race, religion or gender. They can be subtle and hidden, undetectable for years as they chip away at you. Be vigilant, be strong, use your words to lift spirits, not crush them. This is all on our hands and we can do something about this pervasive epidemic simply by speaking to others as we'd like them to speak to us.
I have reclaimed what I like to call 'the me of me' over the years. But it was a trial and it took every ounce of self-belief I could muster to dispell the unkind and unsupportive words I had allowed managers and others to throw at me. This is not a cycle I am willing to repeat.
